(I want to start by saying I almost always refrain form using the term "Holy Land" but for some reason I use it when talking about this personal topic.)
It goes without saying that my time living in Palestine was a highly formative experience for me. This extends to both the personal, professional, and academic. In hindsight, I've realized there were a few different phases and significant changes to my mindset while there. When I arrived I was ready to be just as politically engaged with the Palestinian issue as I am in the US. But within my second or third day I, and a number of other students form the US, realized when were discussing Palestine and the conflict we were basically preaching to the choir. Plus, if it we were going to spend all our time talking about political issues, and ones we agreed on almost without exception, it was going to be a long summer. From then on I dabbled in political discussion with westerners here and there, but basically decided I would only talk politics with Palestinians and spend the rest of my time experiencing Palestine for what it is. At the risk of sounding cliche, I resigned myself to experiencing the culture and food, taking in my surroundings, shutting my mouth and learning all I possibly could.
After getting over the inevitable culture shock and unbelievable 11-day stomach illness I got from the water, I would say I integrated fairly well in the WB. I became comfortable quite fast, found my way around, and got into a daily routine within a week or two. I was still a random white dude running around Palestine and obviously stood out, but I really did feel at home rather quickly. And throughout the majority of my time in the WB, while it was a personal trip for me, it was personal primarily on the academic level, in that my interest and passion for the study of Israel-Palestine stems from my deep-seated commitment to social justice, advocacy for Islam, and of course from the fact that I had invested my professional and academic life to the topic.
But my mindset while in Palestine drastically changed in the last month I was there. One night in July I was introduced, through a mutual friend, to a girl named Arwa. I have to admit: the first time I saw this Egyptian-Omoro girl sitting there wearing a hijab the first thing I though was, "She's pretty........I hope she speaks English." From the moment I met Arwa and shook her hand it was over for me. Beginning that night we were basically joined at the hip. Every minute I wasn't in class at Birzeit University studying Arabic or interning at the research institute, I was with her. We primarily spent our time running around downtown Ramallah, shopping for kuffiyehs, eating fattoush and Arabic sweets, and sitting with the shebabas on Manara Circle. Not that there weren't some exciting and outstanding times-- like the night we were out walking around together at a time that was way too late than was socially acceptable for two unmarried people to be together, interrogated by a somewhat secret Palestinian police force and threatened with arrest. (There's a lot more to the story than this-- it turned into a three or four day fiasco, but that's a story for another day.) But from the point I met Arwa on, my associations and memories of Palestine take on a much different quality. That was when my summer became deeply personal and why my memories remain so affective.
We basically made it a point from that day to run around together, breaking social and religious conventions by holding hands and being (moderately and modestly) affectionate. Now, it's one thing to be an American guy, who everyone assumes is non-Muslim, with a Muslim girl in Palestine. It's quite another thing to be a white American dude with tattoos walking around with a beautiful Muslim Arab woman who wears hijab. I was starting to get used to the constant judgmental "tsks" Palestinians threw my way, which were mostly done when they saw my tattoos. But with Arwa the daily "tsks" must have doubled. And while I have been forced to deal with ignorant and negative reactions to interracial relationships in America before, it was mostly dealing with reactions from other white people directed at who I was with. While infuriating, it was something I always prepared myself to encounter and I mostly reacted appropriately. But to be in the position of the other person--that is, of "the other" or the minority-- the one judged and deemed not worthy to be with who you were with, was quite different for me. This social judgment also takes place in a very different context in a much more conservative society like Palestine. Arwa was soon subjected to questions like "But isn't Mostafa a Christian?" (I have actually been in the careful and deliberate process of converting to Islam for some time, long before I met Arwa). It appeared to me that the inter-religious aspect of our relationship took precedence over the inter-racial for the Palestinians who reacted negatively to our being together, which is both good and sad. It is perhaps also an insight into the racial attitudes amongst Palestinian Arabs who have been subject to discrimination and occupation under an arguably racist usurping entity. At the same time, inter-religious marriage just doesn't happen in the Middle East thse days (though it did historically). I have been told a number of times that after the breakout of tensions in Israel-Palestine most religious authorities stopped performing inter-sectarian and inter-religious ceremonies. Soon this became universal in the region. But the discrimination and occupation the Palestinians have been subject to is also religiously based. Because of this, I am disappointed in their lack of a more accepting and enlightened attitude (forgive my use of the word "enlightened." It is not meant to be Orientalist, but it seem appropriate here).
And so my memories of the last number of weeks in Palestine are indelibly marked by Arwa and our time together. Whereas my previous associations of Jerusalem related to historical coexistence, religious conflict, occupation, and significance to the religious mind, I now also have visions of us walking together outside the walls of the Old City holding hands and going to book stores. When I think of Ramallah my thoughts are no longer limited to the PA, Arafat's grave, and cosmopolitanism. mention Ramallah and I instantly see Arwa and I at Azura or Cafe de la Paix sharing fattoush and laughing at the other people staring at us. My memories of the WB are forever changed and transcend the academic and historical. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Luckily, this woman I met halfway around the world lives just 5 or 6 hours from me-- a manageable distance, I would say. So it's going well. Remarkably well, actually. But falling in love in the Holy Land is a crazy thing and has all kinds of pitfalls and repercussions. It's also an amazing thing and well worth it. We're going to be dealing with all different kinds of reactions throughout our travels together, I am sure.....This is probably one entry amongst many others to come.
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